So we lost to Slytherin today, they've won the Quidditch cup and three of our team members are in the hospital wing.

Considering who their Beaters are, I think we got off easy. Good match, you guys!

I want to get drunk. Blindly drunk. Would anyone else care to get drunk with me?

Hands up anyone who thinks that Ravenclaw has any chance of beating Slytherin in the last match of the year?

You'll notice that my hand is down, but don't blame our lovely captain, Sir Aubrey of Bertram, for our imminent failure. He is very sexually frustrated and all of the other captains are getting some, so there is clearly some kind of correlation there.

Would any of the lovely ladies in the school like to put him out of his misery?